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There aren’t many sounds that can make my stomach fall just like hearing the piercing noise that shakes me deep inside whenever someone unexpectedly tries to FaceTime me, which like predatory payday loans, and tiered marketing programs, is one of those things that isn’t illegal but probably should be.
As someone who is both quite conceited and incredibly shy, I will do everything in my power to avoid being confronted with evidence suggesting that I am not as good-looking as I tell myself and there is nothing able to make me drop more ankles than see what I look like on a video call which is the closest I’ll ever know to how Dorian Gray felt when he was finally confronted with his portrait .
I’m not the only one, as a 2016 study found that almost 60% of people feel the same when forced to sit in front of a webcam, and I guess that segment of the population was about as thrilled as I was when Zoom came into fashion when human contact fell out of favor earlier this year.
The only good thing about virtual meetings is that it forces me to shower, shave, and change the shirt I’ve been wearing for more days than I would like to admit. That said, there are so many things you can do to avoid the almost inevitable moment when you see your face pop up after joining a call before spending 15 seconds subtly adjusting the angle to no avail and finally asking yourself, “Wait a minute.” , am I just… ugly?
This sentiment became more and more prevalent over the course of 2020 as people became hyper focused on trying to figure out why their camera suddenly turned them into an unrecognizable ogre (experts say this is due to a combination of the unique perspective of the camera and our tendency to constantly scrutinize even the smallest of our own faults).
There are ways to solve this problem, ranging from “spending way too much money on lighting” to “lying that your internet connection is slow”, but according to The Washington Post, some are turning to a slightly more drastic measure: cosmetic surgery.
The outlet spoke to a number of healthcare professionals who said they have seen an increase in patients wanting to work to resolve issues that have been brought to their attention on Zoom, including a doctor who has revealed the demand for Botox injections and similar procedures has increased 90% from last year and another that has shared more and more people have become particularly concerned about their jaw and chin.
However, if you read that last paragraph and think, “Oh damn, I totally should do this,” you might be in a bit of trouble. People are also using the pandemic and the scarcity of social gatherings that accompanied it as an excuse to get more intensive surgeries than they had withheld, and as a result, finding an appointment has become the medical equivalent of get your hands on a PS5.
At the end of the day, the most important thing is to remember that you are probably your harshest critic, at least other than colleagues who probably have a secret Slack channel where they post pictures of The Elephant Man and Sloth from. The Goonies every time you speak.
